simple truths

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Tuesday, 22-Jan-2013 18:52:30

SIMPLE TRUTH 1

Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However, after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats."
But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say, "Good job."
Moral of the story:
Hard work is never appreciated.

3. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

4. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.

5. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

6. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

7. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

8. Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

Post 2 by forereel (Just posting.) on Wednesday, 23-Jan-2013 0:25:00

Okay, so what are we discussing dear Becky? You reap what you sew?
Smile.

Post 3 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Thursday, 24-Jan-2013 0:33:46

Hahahahaahahahaha! All very true. And lol to the 2nd post!

Post 4 by UniqueOne (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Thursday, 24-Jan-2013 11:49:03

lol! awesome lil truths! I think my fave. is the one about the pregnatn lady lol!